Teach Your Children Well: Teaching Kids Emotional Intelligence and Respect

The Importance of Teaching Beyond Academics

Teach your children well
Their father’s hell did slowly go by
Feed them on your dreams
The one they pick’s the one you’ll know by

… Don’t you ever ask them why
If they told you, you would cry
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you

Teach, your children well… As an educator, a parent, and someone who interacts with children daily, I’m here to tell you: teach your children well! I’m not talking about reading, writing, and arithmetic—leave that to the teachers. Instead, we can support educators by teaching kids to be good human beings. Children should learn to speak respectfully, greet others with kindness, and approach situations with curiosity rather than confrontation. If they understand how to treat others well, the rest will fall into place.

Let me paint you a picture of what I mean…

A Real-Life Example of Parenting Gone Wrong

As a traveling art teacher, I get around! I’ve been in Title 1 schools and lottery schools. One of my schools has an unofficial Facebook page created by parents in the absence of a PTO. The description claims it was made to support teachers and the school—sounds positive, right? That’s what I thought, until I started reading the posts.

Instead of uplifting discussions, it was filled with adults venting, or bitching about teachers, administration, and even other children. I understand the need to vent, we are human beings after all, but so publicly?? What message is that sending to OUR kids? Especially in the digital age, where online bullying is running rampant.

One parent posted about bullying being out of control. Her daughter was being teased for eating applesauce from a squeeze pouch—other kids called her a “baby.” While this situation is certainly unpleasant, it’s not exactly bullying (a term that gets overused). However, no parent wants to hear that their child is being made fun of.

But what was truly heartbreaking? The advice this parent gave her child—to tell the other kids to “shut up.”

Teaching Children Healthy Responses

This is where the real problem lies. Instead of encouraging her daughter to react with cleverness or curiosity, she taught her to respond with confrontation. That doesn’t lead to understanding—it just fuels more negativity.

A better approach? Teach children to respond with confidence and humor:

• “Yeah, my applesauce is in a pouch—I don’t have time for a spoon!”
• “Call me a baby then, because this stuff is delicious!”
• “Wow, that comment came out of nowhere. Were you just trying to hurt my feelings?”

By teaching kids to respond thoughtfully rather than react aggressively, we break the cycle of negativity. If a child replies with curiosity, they force the other person to reflect on their actions.

The Chain Reaction of Positivity

This was a small example, but situations like these happen every day. What really struck me was that this parent openly shared her approach, and others applauded her for it. They saw it as teaching her daughter to “stand up for herself.”

However, we must recognize that the way children learn to communicate starts at home. As parents and caregivers, we need to model positive interactions.

How Adults Can Set a Better Example

We can only teach kindness if we practice it ourselves. This means prioritizing our own personal growth:

• Practice mindfulness. Learn to listen, ask questions, and be receptive instead of reactive.
• Seek self-improvement. Podcasts, books, and therapy are excellent resources for self-discovery and emotional intelligence. And at very low or no cost!
• Break negative cycles. If anger and confrontation have never served you well, and then never will, don’t pass those patterns on to your children. I can say this from personal experience.

Start Small: Practical Steps for Self-Growth

If you’re wondering where to start, here are some ideas:

• Listen to podcasts. They offer valuable lessons and can be enjoyed while driving or exercising. Click here for my favorite ones to get started on this journey!
• Read self-development books. Platforms like Audible provide easy access to books on mindfulness and emotional intelligence. Click here to see my latest and favs. Here are some of my faves mentioned in a previous post
• Try therapy. With telehealth options, therapy is more accessible than ever.

Healing Ourselves to Heal Our Children

We can’t raise healed children if we are not healed ourselves. We cannot teach kindness and compassion if we lack those skills. So, as a teacher, a parent, and a human being, I urge you: teach your children well. The world will thank you for it.

What tips do you have for teaching your children well? Let’s learn from each other! Otherwise, tell me how much you love this song! Love me some Jerry on pedal steel!